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I have been close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered numerous obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she's often blindsided in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. A lot of her social circle disappeared during that time, because they seemed only interested in her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She made greater energy in our friendship, likely realised more clearly the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many in her circle have drifted apart and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending time together, yet I realize my role in the relationship is as the audience. I start discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to propose factchecking or other angles.

She's been arranging a trip to a country I know well many times and lived in previously. My intention was to share personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She really solely sought validation of her plans. I have come back from four weeks in that place she is eager to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to act as a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she can comprehend the impact of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, yet this is rarely a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step requires explaining how things go in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible and basically exactly what occurs. The second involves sharing how this affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no argument on this point. Your feelings belong to you, naturally. Step three is to question how the two of you can shift the pattern between you."

Consider that she also has her own side, so you need to stay open to listen to her. A helpful technique is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to remain silent for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful for promoting understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject everything, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of because their very survival depends upon it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare here, only cul-de-sacs. But she may at first react this way and then think your perspective. And should you don't achieve a resolution, you'll have peace from having been honest with her.